How do we cope with stressful situations?

Dearest Lauren and Gunner, please read that question above and consider it carefully.

One day last week I was riding in a 15-passenger van back from the hospital in the late afternoon. It was well past lunch time so we were all anxious to get home. We had just spent most of the day getting poked and prodded by doctors and nurses and technicians. They were only doing their job; just making sure we were healthy enough to be sent into a war zone. In the van were other pilots from my unit and a couple privates who wanted to catch a ride back to their rooms. Soldiers in the military have many ways of coping with unfamiliar pressures. Most crack jokes, complain about everything, and do anything they can to take their mind off their loneliness and apprehension at going to dangerous places. Instead of going straight back to the barracks, the van made a few side stops to take care of some other business. A young, female private curled up in a ball on the seat next to me not-so-politely complained, "When are we going back to the barracks? I'm confined to quarters since I've been throwing up the past few days and I'm starving." That throwing-up part really got our attention, and as Soldiers will do, they made fun of her illness.

Now, for the most part, I try to be quiet and stay out of the fun-making, but for some reason I couldn't help myself. "Must be the baby," I quipped. Eyes shot looks of surprise at me. CW3 Pedersen never makes fun of anybody, much less saying something so outrageous! Okay, I overstepped my bounds. The female private shrugged off the dumb comment and curled up even tighter. She reminded me of a pill bug. You know, a roly-poly. An isopod (Yes, I remember weird things from Biology.)

"Okay, I feel terrible about making fun of you like that. Especially, like that. I insist on buying you something to eat. And no, you can't say no. Driver, pull into that Burger King." Well, since I have a considerable amount of seniority, the driver did as I ordered. Through the drive-thru we went... and you know how I hate drive-thrus. "Order anything you want. I'm buying," I offered. The "pill bug" perked right up. "Let me see. I'll have the #6 combo meal with large fries and a large Sprite," she said. The driver repeated the order, and we rolled up to the window. Out the window went my $20 bill; back in came a 10 and some ones. "Oh, I didn't know they had milk shakes," said the ravenous roly-poly. "Might as well," I said and back out the window went all my ones. One of the lieutenants in the van looked at me and rolled his eyes. The roly-poly was obviously getting her moneys worth out of my guilt trip.

Later, we finally pulled up into the parking lot in front of our barracks. The pillbug stopped stuffing fries in her mouth long enough to stumble out of the van and promptly spill her Sprite. Oh well, at least she had a shake left. She seemed to be coping with her hunger pains quite well. But that isn't the end of the story.

Two days later, we heard a loud knock on our door at 0500; that's 5:00 am, Oh-dark-thirty. "What?" "Everyone up right now. Get a uniform on. Head down to the day room. And don't go to the bathroom," ordered a stern lieutenant. You've probably heard of such things. A surprise urine test! Yes, we were all getting drug tested. The samples are screened for marijuana, barbituates, etc.

Seems some Soldier in the battalion had overdosed the day before. The Soldier was going to live but life would get extra hard for the rest of us. Worse yet, the soldier had the same last name as the roly-poly. I won't repeat her name here. You never know who might know her. Seems she OD'd on something much worse than the drugs I mentioned before. She chose one of the worst - cocaine. That explained her throwing up and other sicknesses. How anyone who volunteers to come into the military can chose to throw away all that effort is beyond me. Her life is now in ruins. She'll be forced out of the Army soon, but not before she loses all her pay, goes to prison for at least the length of our deployment, and is given a dishonorable discharge (which should make getting another job very difficult). Her family back in Arizona will be shocked and humiliated. She'll return a complete failure.

So we all have ways to cope with the stress of this deployment. Me? I read and pray alot. Much more than I ever did before. And especially I think of all the things I'll miss doing with both of you these 400 days. Picking you up after school. Shooting. Shopping. Going to football games. Teaching Lauren to drive a BMW stick shift. Going to church. Driving you and your friends anywhere so you can hang out with quality people. Giving you mini-lectures on life (Sorry, couldn't leave that one out.)

I can only pray that God, Mommy, and good friends will pick up where I have abandoned you, albeit for a noble cause. Please make good decisions in your lives. It's your life, but I feel the pain of your stress and the joy of your success. I love you more than you know and miss you both, my dearest Lauren and Gunner.