Radio Chatter

As taxpayers, you should know you've entrusted some highly-trained, dedicated, intelligent, professional men and women to protect U.S. interests abroad. I have proof.

At Baghdad International Airport, we pulled up alongside a C-17 and a little, white, United Nations marked fixed-wing with the callsign "Orthodox." I like that.

Next stop, MAJ Pat O'Toole's old stomping ground, Taji. Pat voluntarily served a six-month tour as a Battle Captain there. Manly stuff! Anwyay, Tower called me, "Mongol 40, Taji Tower, are you familiar with the pattern?" "Roger, Taji Tower, Mongol 40 is familiar." (Not really, but I've been there once before. No sense letting on what a bunch of knuckleheads are coming in to land. Anyway, I had the helipad in sight.) Here's the beautiful Taji Helicopter Terminal, concrete barriers and all. (Pat, did you leave from there or is it new?"

Mongol 40 prior to to our flight: L-R, SGT Matt Ferguson (Crewchief/Right-side Door Gunner), 1LT Caleb Grandy (Pilot-in-Command), CW3 Chris Pedersen (Pilot), and SGT Casper Bierman (Left-side Door Gunner).

Last stop, back to Al Kut. We had only two passengers on this leg. A male, and a young female soldier. On the way in, 1LT Grandy decided I needed to practice a GPS approach. Ugggggh. The sun was setting. It was really hazy up high where we were going. I was beat and not really proficient on this type of instrument approach. I concentrated, I stressed, I focused, I adjusted, I readjusted, I triple adjusted, and we ended up coming up on the runway threshold at the right place. Not bad.

1LT Grandy:  "I've got the controls and the radios. Good job. I'll taxi in."

CW3 Pedersen:   "Roger, you have the controls." Whew. I was wrung out. I slumped back in my seat in a quiet stupor.

Crewchief 1:  "This lady smells pretty good back here. And she looks like my type, too."

Crewchief 2:  "If there's any female around here, you say she's your type!"

1LT Grandy:   "Blair Tower, Mongol 40 is clear of the Kilo taxiway for West Ramp,  passenger dropoff." Trying to add to the conversation in back, "I may not be the world's greatest womanizer, but I do appreciate a pretty face..."

CW3 Pedersen - (While saying nothing, I'll have you know.) I reacted instantly and reached over and turned off the dial that was letting him transmit out over the airways DIRECTLY TO THE TOWER AND ANY OTHER AIRCRAFT LISTENING.

1LT Grandy - "Oh no. I thought I was internal. Was I transmitting?"

CW3 Pedersen - "Afraid so, sir."

Crewchiefs 1 & 2:  (Uncontrollable, unintelligable laughter directed at the LT.)

1LT Grandy:  Dialed Tower back up. "Tower, Mongol 40, I apologize for that."

Blair Tower:  "That's okay Mongol 40, as long as I don't loose MY TITLE as the World's Greatest Womanizer!"

1LT Grandy:  "Even in this dark cockpit, If you could see how bright red my face is right now."


C-M/P/3