Tappety, tap, tap, tappety, tap, tap.
Good evening again, folks. Trigger, the Super Reporter on the scene today with Medical News direct from the front lines of Iraq.
Over the past two weeks, Mr. Poppy, aka "The Old Man of the Company", has been hobbling around like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Quasimoto. Though it seems Mr. Poppy's hump had settled on his right knee.
("Hump? What hump?" You really should see the Mel Brook's version of the movie. It's a riot!)
After being grounded by the Flight Surgeon, CPT O'Nan, something had to be done.
So here it is. We have photographic proof so when Mr. Poppy goes the VA Hospital, the lowest-bidder-contract-doctor might have a chance at accepting this as proof. Maybe.
(Doubtfully)
Avert your eyes if you need to. I know Mr. Poppy did!
Not to worry. Dr. O'Nan moonlights on the civilian side as a Cardiac Specialist.
(Huh? Wait a minute...Can we get a 2nd opinion here?) He creates a sterile field.
(In Iraq? Hardly.) "Relax. You're too tense."
(So his perfectly rigid body wasn't relaxed enough?)
The highly trained heart doctor takes aim... "Right knee? Yea, okay. They both look pretty bad. I've got plenty of needles. We can do both if you'd like?"
(Always willing to give and give and give...) "Now, we numb the site with a small needle. Unless you'd rather go without it and try for a Purple Heart?"
(Mr. Poppy thought about screaming like a little girl right about now.).
"Then, we wait a little bit...Okay, that's long enough.
(Wait! 1 minute! That's long enough?) Can you feel anything?
(My heart is racing. Does that count?) Now a little bigger needle, you might feel some pressure
(Mr. Poppy came to a hover 2 inches off the gurney at that point), and we drain off a little red stuff that's causing all that swelling. Not much juice. Are you holding out on me, Mr. Pedersen? Come on, relax..."
"Now we'll insert a little Lydocaine/Steroid cocktail. That should numb it and keep the swelling down. Are you doing okay? I told you to relax."
(Breath in, breath out. I think I learned that at Linda's childbirth class. Yea, said that at Lauren's and Gunner's both. Boy, was I a big help!)
"Finally. That should do it. Well, Mr. Pedersen, how're you feeling? Any questions?"
(Nope...thanks very much...Sorry, Doc...gotta' run....I think I hear my mother calling me...COMING MOMMY!!!)
So that's our brave warrior in in-action.
This has been a Medical News update from Trigger, your on-the-spot super reporter, signing off.
3 comments:
So glad to know it went pretty well, at least judging by the smile on your face at the end. Or were you just gritting your teeth? I hope walking is getting easier! We can't wait to have you home, even for a short visit!!!
Love, ls
Ouch! Sure hope you're feeling lots better soon, so we won't have to call you 'Hoppy' instead of 'Poppy!' Have a quick trip, but be ready for the Outlaws! Love, Barbara
Quick Trigger. Circle the (station)-wagons. The Outlaws are coming, the Outlaws are coming!
Maybe we can go for a hike and do some bird watching. There's the Water Reclamation Project in Gilbert, for water birds. Then, South Mountain for the Desert Birds. Then, the Boeing Helicopter Plant in Mesa for the Little Birds! That should cover some territory.
Oh, yea. And some Mexican food for PaLo and me. The Margaritas are on me...which sounds kind of fun (except for Lauren & Gunner, of course).
C-M/P/3
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